Okay, here she comes.
Here goes. Watch Moose.
- Hey, Potsie. - Yeah?
Two for flinching.
Wipe.
Kid stuff.
Hey, Ralph.
Kid stuff.
Heard your tadpole died today in biology.
Yeah. Rock Grinspan was trying to teach it to hop and he dropped it.
- Hey, hey, fellas. - Hey, Rich.
Oh, listen, I'll have a...
Guess who I'm taking to the rock 'n' roll show.
- Who? - It's a toss-up between Godzilla
and Rex the Wonder Horse.
Well, I just invited Gloria Hoffsteader.
- Oh, that's great, Potsie. - How'd you get a date with Gloria?
Last time she went outwith you was a fire drill.
It's a snap when you have a friend like Rich.
Rich is going steady with Arlene,
and Arlene's Gloria's best friend. I told her we'd double, and...
There's only one problem. I might not be taking Arlene now.
Rich, don't tell me that.
I couldn't get tickets. They were all sold out.
- Oh, listen, I'd like to have a... - Man, some friend you are.
It would have been an all-star line-up.
Chuck Berry, the Mellow Kings, Gloria Hoffsteader and me.
- Not my fault. - I heard Fonzie has two tickets
- he's trying to sell. - Hey, crazy. Where is he, the garage?
No, he had something good to write on the bathroom wall.
Come on, Rich.
Hey, first dibs if it's a phone number.
Hey, Fonz. Oh, hey, that's crazy.
We heard you had some tickets to the rock 'n' roll show.
- Yeah. - Oh, that's fantastic.
But I already sold them to Iggy Wilson.
Hi, Kovat. Hey, Rich, we're buddies.
I'll see what I can do about getting another pair.
I dig doing the impossible.
- Great. How much? - Six bucks.
Oh, 6 bucks.
I don't know if I can raise that money.
Well, like Doris Day says:
Hey, ducktail ain't for you, Kovat.
Guess I'm gonna have to ask my father for the money.
Hey, no sweat.
Just tell him it's the biggest bash ever staged in this town.
There'll be dancing in the aisles and a million classy chicks.
It'll be a blast.
You're right. Better tell him you need it for school.
Well, you're home early, dear.
Don't come too close, Marion. I may be contagious.
You're having another one of your sore throats?
Well, who else's sore throat would I have?
I knew it last night. You were gargling in your sleep.
I'll get you something to fix that. Honey will make you feel better.
I read in Collier's that the ancient Egyptians used honey as medicine.
And how many ancient Egyptians do you see around today, huh?
What are you doing, Marion?
Well, Joanie always takes her medicine with a train.
Well, I am not Joanie. I'm a fully grown man
perfectly capable of opening my mouth without:
- Come on, now, open. - I don't want to.
Howard, open.
Now, don't swallow. Don't swallow. Just tilt your head back
and let the honey coat your throat.
Now, stay there. I'll be right back.
Something wrong with the ceiling, Dad?
No, I have a sore throat and I was just holding some honey on it.
I had an uncle who could hold five walnuts in his mouth.
What's that supposed to mean?
I don't know, but he never had a sore throat.
Potsie, if you don't mind,
I'm really not up to hearing about your family problems.
Yeah, well, I better get going.
- Hope you feel better. - Thank you.
- Good luck, Rich. - Yeah, thanks.
You want something, Richie?
- Oh, what makes you say that, Dad? - Well, Potsie wished you luck.
Now, what is it you need from me that requires luck?
- Well... - Would you like some honey?
Oh, no. No, thanks.
You see, Dad, I have this date tonight, and...
What are you doing, Marion?
When I was a little girl and had a sore throat,
my Grandma Brunner would put a wool sock around my neck
and give me brandy and warm water.
You know, I knew your grandmother was a very strange lady,
but I did not know she was also a lush.
Why don't you go upstairs and rest, and I'll fix the brandy and water?
Yeah. I feel like hitting the hay a little early.
- Oh, Dad. - Oh, Richard.
I'm sorry, I almost forgot. How much do you need?
- Well, $6. - How much?
You can consider it an advance on my allowance.
Oh, I will.
Let me see, now. This brings your advance up to around the year 1959.
Thanks, Dad. I'll be home for dinner, Mom.
All right.
Look, honey, would you make that a double brandy?
One to forget my sore throat, and one to forget this sock around my neck.
- Fonzie? - Richie?
- Yeah. Can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah.
I got the money.
- I got the tickets. - Oh, great.
When I told Arlene we were going, she was really excited.
Yeah, that's nice. Listen, could we finish our business?
Oh, sure, sure. There you go.
You should have seen her face when I told her.
She was really happy about the whole thing.
Hey, Rich, this is a rush job.
Oh, yeah, yeah. Right. Well, listen, thanks again.
- Yeah. - Oh, this is terrific.
Hey, congratulations.
Hot to trot, huh?
What are you doing?
Dr. McKay's in there with Daddy.
What's happening?
Dr. McKay's asking Dad why he has a sock around his neck.
Now Dr. McKay's laughing.
Look, I refuse to go to the hospital.
There's nothing to get upset about, Howard.
Lots of people have their tonsils out.
- Dad, you're going to the hospital? - Not necessarily.
I can get you into the hospital tomorrow morning,
and you'll have your tonsils out by 6 that afternoon.
Even the laundry can't give you that kind of service on your shirts.
You think about it and leave a message with my nurse.
I've got a case of croup down the block.
I can't wait to tell them about that sock around your neck.
Well, it always worked for Grandma Brunner.
Now, look, Marion, we just can't rush into things like this.
There's a lot to consider.
I mean, who's gonna take care of the hardware store?
You know Mr. Fenster's on vacation.
You could call Chuck.
He's got an out-of-town basketball game.
Then I'm sure Richard wouldn't mind keeping an eye on it for the day.
- Right, Richard? - This Saturday?
Yes.
I hate to close up on Saturday. It's usually my busiest day.
- Last week I was there till 9:00. - Nine o'clock at night?
Did you have plans, dear?
No. No, I can take care of it, Dad. If you're sick, I wanna help out.
See? There's nothing to worry about.
Richard can be the man of the family on Saturday.
But there's something I have to take care of at Arnold's. I'll be right back.
I got another one. Here. "But, lady, I'm not quite in the elevator yet."
Wait, I got one too. "Mommy, you made my ponytail too tight."
Okay, I got more, I got more. "Watch out for the revolving door.
What reeving...? Door, door, door."
One more, one more. What's this, what's this?
- A butterfly with the hiccups. - Right.
- One more, one more. - I knew that.
Hey, Ralph. Listen, have you seen Fonzie around?
- Yeah. - Where is he?
- Pull it out, pull it out. - Come on, where's Fonzie?
He's over having his picture made.
Thanks. Ralph's gotta be card, right?
See, I'm funny. I'm funny.
Don't you knock before you come into a man's office?
I'm sorry to bother you, but listen, about these tickets...
That's okay, man. You don't have to keep on thanking me. It's all right.
I know, but I was wondering if I could get a refund.
A refund? I ain't no department store.
Something came up. I hate to disappoint Arlene.
Yeah, and I hate to give back money.
My father got sick and I can't go.
Listen, I promise I won't bother you anymore.
I hope you know how much you're upsetting my finances,
not to mention Debbie here.
Oh, sorry. Sorry, Debbie. Thanks a million.
Don't you got any manners at all?
Oh, gee, didn't I say thanks?
You left the door to my office open.
Marion, I'm only going to the hospital for a few days.
I'm not taking a two-week cruise.
It's good to have extra clothes, just in case.
Of course.
After all, they might decide to have a dance in the intensive-care ward.
Hey, Dad, you're going to the hospital pretty soon, huh?
That's right Joanie. You gonna miss me?
No.
Dad, you're only gonna be gone a little while. Are you scared?
Well, maybe a little bit.
There's nothing to be scared about. The operation's no sweat.
All they do is stick you in this room and rip out your throat.
Marion, have you seen my coat?
But afterwards, you get to eat as much ice cream as you want.
Oh, well, that's nice.
But if you eat any, you usually throw up. Then your throat kills you.
Sweetheart, wouldn't you like to go outside
and play with your Hula-Hoop for a while?
- Okay. Bye, Dad. - Goodbye.
Good luck.
She said that like I was flying a mission over Tokyo.
Would you like to come here and help me with this?
I got everything but the Saturday Evening Post.
Oh, thank you, Richard.
You see, your mother wanted to pack it and I wanted to wear it,
so we decided to compromise.
Oh, Howard.
Are you coming with us, dear?
I was just gonna make a phone call, but I can do it at the hospital.
- I gotta break a date. - Oh, what date?
Well, I was gonna take Arlene to the rock 'n' roll show tonight.
Another cultural evening.
- But why are you breaking it? - Because I have to work tonight.
Dad, you said you usually stay at the store until 9:00 on Saturdays.
That's your dad. He likes to stay late. You don't have to.
Does he have to miss the show, Howard?
You can close the store at 5:00.
Oh, that's great. That's awful.
That's a very good impersonation of Jekyll and Hyde.
I'll wait in the car. Marion, did you pack my socks?
What's the matter, Richard?
I gave my tickets back to Fonzie.
Well, just ask Fonzie to give them back to you.
Sort of like asking Khrushchev to give back Poland.
Okay, thanks a lot. Bye.
You can't get ahold of Fonzie, huh?
I called Arnold's, Otto's Auto Orphanage, Fat Melba's Burgertown.
He's probably sold the tickets by now anyway.
Marion, you forgot to pack my drawstring.
Oh, I'm sorry. I think Joanie used it to play cat's cradle.
- I may have an extra. - Oh, thank you, Mr. Egan.
- That's very kind of you. - Oh, yes.
So you're only gonna be with us for a few days?
Yes, just a minor operation. Tonsils.
I had a brother-in-law who had his tonsils out.
Oh, is that right?
Yeah. He was laying in bed after the operation, and bingo.
Bingo? What bingo?
His number came up.
But at least he went in his sleep.
How terrible.
He was a young man too. Younger than you. He loved fried foods.
I love fried foods.
Now, Howard, there is nothing to worry about.
That's right. Your number comes up, doesn't pay to worry.
Had a cousin with gallstones, bingo.
Another bingo.
- Then, one day, I remember... - If you don't mind,
I'd really rather not hear about it.
Oh, all right. Just trying to make conversation.
Look, you two better go if Richie's gonna open the store on time.
If there's anything you want, just call.
- I will. - Take it easy, Dad.
Yeah, I will. And don't worry, your mother's right.
Everything's gonna be fine.
I don't know...
...but I'm not saying a word.
Hey, Rich, I found him.
Oh, Fonzie. Gee, am I glad to see you.
Yeah, sure, you're glad, but Debbie ain't so glad sitting in that phone booth.
Oh, well, I'll apologise to Debbie.
Hey, I hear you wanna play musical chairs again with these tickets.
Yeah, I'd like to buy them back again. You see, it's really important.
Arlene has her heart set on going to this thing.
- Gloria won't go if Arlene doesn't go. - Arlene told me...
Hey, hey, hey. I don't need True Confessions here.
I already sold the tickets, but I happen to have another pair.
- Hey, we're all set. - That's terrific. How can I repay you?
Well, you could start by giving me the money.
Oh, yeah, well, sure.
Okay, $6. Great.
Hey, that's rough, Rich. Now you don't have popcorn money.
Never let it be said that Fonzie interfered with puppy love. Hey.
Arlene's really gonna be happy about this.
Yeah, so will Gloria.
Hey, me and Dear Abby spend our time making little hearts glad.
Fonzie.
Okay, the all-purpose oil, flashlight batteries,
and the portable radio.
You know, it's amazing how small they can make a radio these days.
Well, that's progress. Will that be all?
- I think that's all you need. - How do you know?
Well, I don't know. I mean, just a lucky guess.
You're right. There's no use throwing money around.
- Right. Thank you very much, sir. - Thank you. Goodbye, son.
Rich, let's cut. I told the girls we'd be there ten minutes ago.
- Right. - Oh, now we're shaking.
I just gotta lock up
and then we are gonna see the best show of our lives.
I just gotta find the key. There it is.
Oh, wait a minute, I gotta turn the lights off.
Oh, Potsie, the door.
- What? - The door, it's locked.
Well, open it.
It's kind of tough when the keys are on the outside.
I don't understand.
You have to have the key to unlock it, even from the inside.
- I still don't understand. - We can't get out.
That I understand. You got a spare set of keys?
Oh, sure, there's gotta be a spare set around here somewhere.
- I'll call my dad, he'd know. - Great. Hurry up, I don't wanna miss
- the start of the concert. - Right.
I heard that's when Chuck Berry does his best hopping.
Well, pick it up.
Hello. Richard, where are you?
Hi, Mom. Can I talk to Dad for a second?
Well, I'm not sure that you should talk to him now. He's resting.
- Is that Richard? - Yes, dear.
Let me talk to him. He probably called to see if I'm all right.
Richard, don't worry, I'm fine.
Dad, you know the front door to the store? Well, it's locked.
Oh, that's a good boy.
Now that you got everything locked up,
you can go and enjoy the rock 'n' roll.
No, see, Dad, you don't understand.
Your father can't talk to you now, Richard.
- He suddenly decided to take a nap. - Mom, see...
He'll be able to talk to you tomorrow. Enjoy the concert.
Well?
They can't help us. My dad's asleep and my mom's busy worrying.
Let's approach this logically. How would Mickey Spillane get out of this?
Go through the transom?
No. It seems Mickey would try something flashier.
Mickey wouldn't have locked himself in.
- Get that ladder. We'll give it a try. - Okay.
I think we can make it through there, don't you? We'll try it. Let's go.
Yeah, let's go.
- Here I go. - Get up there fine?
Sure, no problem.
We can make it out if I can get rid of that chain.
- Give me a screwdriver, okay? - Sure.
- Here you go, Rich. - Thanks.
- Is that better? - Yeah, I gotta reach up here a little bit.
- Hang on, Rich. - Oh, no.
- Okay? - Fine.
- Here's your keys. - I don't even believe this.
Look, we can still make it in time for the show.
We'll miss a little of Chuck Berry, but...
I can't go.
Rich, this is no time to be goody two-shoes.
I'm not being goody two-shoes, but I have a responsibility here, that's all.
What are you worried about?
Anybody who'd rob the place is at the rock 'n' roll show.
No. No, I gotta call a glass man and wait till he gets here.
- Really? - Yeah.
Well, we'll do it your way.
Here.
Take Arlene and Gloria.
Hey, thanks.
I'll try and sell your ticket and get your money back.
Oh, that'd be nice. Thanks.
Don't mention it. Well, I better be going.
I'll let you out. You still need the key.
Hey, Rich, if you want me to stay with you, I will.
Oh, no. There's no reason why you and the girls should miss it too.
You go ahead. I got the radio to keep me company.
Well, you're still my best friend,
but you sure have rotten luck.
See you.
- Oh, hey, have a good time. - Thanks, Rich.
Robert Jefferson out of Kern having a rocking good time.
All you cats who couldn't make it to the show,
I'll be spinning a stack of wax to ease the pain.
This is dedicated to Sue by Joe, Bob, Frank
and the entire backfield of Whitman High.
It's not like I was the only one who's not going to the rock 'n' roll show.
Hello, could I speak to Mr. Phelps, please?
I have a broken glass that needs fixing right away.
Well, when will he be back?
Right after the rock 'n' roll show?
Well, thanks, I'll call back later.
Oh, I'm glad you're feeling better, dear.
The doctor says you can go to work in a couple of days.
No more, Marion. My tongue is frozen.
Come on, one more spoonful. The doctor says it's good for you.
I don't want any.
And the choo-choo isn't gonna help this time.
Did they put your tonsils in a bottle?
They don't do that for grownups, dear.
Well, I guess that ruins my plans for show-and-tell.
Well, I think visiting hours are over.
- We'll be back to see you this evening. - Okay.
- Goodbye, Dad. - Bye, sweetheart.
Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure. I'll cancel my golf date.
I guess Mom told you all about last night, huh?
She mentioned it. I appreciate what you did, Richard.
I'm sorry about the window.
Well, that I didn't appreciate.
But you showed real responsibility staying in the store like that,
missing your concert, and I respect you for it.
Well, I'm sorry I missed the concert,
- but I'm glad you're feeling better now. - Thanks.
Look, you better get out of here before the head nurse finds you.
The last person she caught here after hours ended up on the critical list.
Okay. Take care, Dad.
That's quite a kid I got there, Mr. Egan. You know what he did?
I don't wanna hear about it.